If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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