I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
