If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
found the other keg... it's in the tree
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
