Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
operation have a gay friend backfired
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
