My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm like, not good at living.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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