just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
