what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
