i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Randomize