Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
