Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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