shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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