I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
