after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
ttyl tear gas
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
