Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
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