then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
