Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
