yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Randomize
