so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
