i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
