Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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