No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
