I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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