craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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