that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Pooping to opera.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
