he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
