Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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