doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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