I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
