Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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