Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
