She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
