are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
