I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
