The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
