We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize