i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You dont lie about slip and slides
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
whose ass print is on the piano?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
