kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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