Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
