I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
