the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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