the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
