Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
