She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
