you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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