Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
