did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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