Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
