I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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