he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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