YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
