so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
