If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
