At least make sure they are 18
Why
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
