i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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