He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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