Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
