you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
