I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
