just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
