You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
