you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
