I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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