I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
