I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
