Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
