im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
