need another drink. this is the easiest way
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
