let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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