You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
