My room smells like vodka and shame
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Sorry my hands just texted you
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
